Cumming 6-Gap

In college, my buddy John Plummer said that drinking beer is the opposite of exercise. He actually said "working out", but close enough. Since I didn't drink, and still don't, I can't weigh in on that, but I can confidently say, that if more than one thing can be the opposite of another, then working late, downing sugar and caffeine and then getting bad sleep are also, collectively, the opposite of exercise, and they are all I've been getting for the last couple of weeks.

So, today the frere and I tried to ride the Cumming 6-Gap. You didn't even know there was a 6-Gap route in Cumming. That's because there isn't. I made it up. Ha! Technically there are 3 legitimate gaps, so I didn't make up that part, but the other 3 are fake gaps that I did make up.

There are no photos because, even though I brought my camera, I was on the rivet for the entire ride and barely able to stay on my brother's wheel. I haven't felt this weak in as long as I can remember.

We rode out of the back of my neighborhood on Buford Dam road, cut through the schools and a couple of other neighborhoods and began the climb up fake gap number 1 - James Burgess Road. Actually at this point I felt pretty good. The suffering had not yet set in.

At the top, we hung a right and wound our way through collective fake gap number 2 - Windermere, Melody Mizer, Gilbert, Trammel and Dave's Creek. It was around there somewhere that my cardio failed me altogether. My heart was forcibly raping every blood vessel in my legs. I tasted blood in my breath. Tunnel vision. No lung capacity. Man I've got to get some sleep.

I got a little rest through town because there are a million stoplights. I've got to find a better route.

Left on Kelly Mill, out to the first real gap - Chamblee Gap. It kind of rolls at first but then it kicks and that kick consumed every ounce of strength in my body. Every ounce. Thank god that when you get to the top of a climb, it's not possible to climb any more. Whoever invented that gets my vote.

Real gap number two is Tribble Gap, just hang a right when you get to the end of Chamblee Gap Road. You can't miss it but you might not realize it's there. It was somewhere in there that I started falling off so bad that my bro couldn't even hear me yelling "left turn".

Next, we crawled over Bettis Gap, which most people think is Tribble Gap, but they are all wrong. In their defense, the road names in the area add substantially to the confusion. My bro sat up for me on that climb.

I received a little more charity, and a good pull, around the back of Sawnee Mountain too. I fought through a couple of stitches. The final gap was another fake gap - Mountain Road, which really just jumps up over the shoulder of Sawnee Mountain. I think it's actually the toughest climb and my bro was shoestringing so I could keep up. It reminded me of Sugarloaf Mountain in Florida - steep and interminable.

I mean it wasn't really interminable though. Whoever invented terminable climbs also gets my vote. I hope it was the same guy cause damnit I only get one vote.

From there on, it was just a run back into town on Hwy 9 and I clung to my brother's wheel like my life depended on it.

He said we actually rode reasonably fast. Maybe it was like one of those races where that you force your way through, feeling weak and terrible, and then find out that you actually came in 4th. Or maybe he was being nice. Either way, woohoo!

Can you suffer for hours and still have a good time? Apparently. It was a pretty good ride, and it wasn't just fun in retrospect. How does that happen? Runner's High? Hypoxia? I'll take it.